Malory’s text contain numerous women who either rule a castle and lands in their own right, or who appear to do so as we never see a man controlling their rulership. It is, nevertheless, not the normal position for a woman: overall, these women are expected to desire a knight who can take over rulership, or at least become co-ruler. This desire is considered appropriate: by and large, only women of very doubtful reputations (Morgan being a case in point) retain full control over their lands for an extended period of time. Categorically rejecting an obviously suitable knight is also inappropriate for a female ruler: it is not so much that she should accept a knight she does not desire, as that she should desire any knight of prowess and chivalric behaviour who loves her. The lack of desire is, in itself, a flaw in a female ruler.
A prominent example of inappropriate reaction to knightly desire is Ettarde, ruler of her own castle and believing she is entitled to make her own choice in matters of love. in the text she is held up as the bad example, portraying Nyneve – a woman who, if not ruler of a castle, is certainly a person with power – as the good example. In this paper, I will discuss this and other examples of female rulers and their (in)appropriate desires.